I grew up with a loving and supportive family, amazing friends, an athletic background, and a limited potential to truly fail. I was a hard worker no doubt, but still – potential was all around me. I didn't know hurt, I got mostly what I wanted, and I expected to be good at whatever I did.
But this life – this crazy, beautiful, humbling life happened. In fact—shit happened! And it changed my whole story, like many people in their 30s. I never thought I would say this but—thank you, world. Thank you for opening my eyes, and for being different than I expected. These experiences have changed my whole way of thinking, and living, and wanting.
That idea of "happily ever after" as an easy road did not last – instead my deepest fears were realized. I lost people that I never thought I would, I had enough surgeries to make me question my sanity, and my heart has been broken so badly that I lost faith in myself. I’ve asked myself, “What am I doing with my life already?” more times than I'm comfortable with.
Life is hard—really hard—sometimes, but thank you. Seriously. Thank you for making me feel more alive, and for making me less afraid. Thank you for making me happy. My gratitude is magnified because of what I’ve seen – both light and dark phases of life. Thank you for love that is even stronger because I now know hurt. Thank you for making my smile more real because I remember how hard it was to get it back. Thank you for giving me the awareness and courage to question myself, and to make sure I'm moving towards more of what I love.
Thank you for giving me more potential to gracefully get through the harder times—the times that will inevitably come, the times that I now have more experience with, the times that may help me "gracefully fall back into the arms of grace” –as the Lifehouse song, “Breathing,” goes—when I question my sanity. I have come out more than okay—I have come out trusting myself a little more, and a little bit more me. I'm a work in progress, but I’m finding out that this life really is what we make it.
Remember to be grateful not just for the good, but for all of it.
Yoga helps me to reconnect to that, it helps me to know that I am caring for myself in the good and bad days, and it helps me to remember that I just have to keep breathing, and moving, and trusting as gracefully as I can.