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To Hell With My Ego

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I have been teaching yoga for 4 years – 5 classes a week – 200 miles per week. For the last few months, I kept hearing a small voice telling me I needed to make a change in my life. I didn’t know what that change should be, although I knew I was getting anxious not getting enough time for my personal practice. I was anxious worrying that the classes I was teaching weren’t coming truly from my love of yoga, nor from the love in my heart. I couldn’t help but wonder – where had it gone? I was trying to cram in my daily walk of 3-4 miles in as well; I told myself I was doing this for my sweet Labrador, Sable. I was also being pulled between “my time” and time I needed to spend in the office. Something had to give. My priorities needed an adjustment.

Then, the unexpected reality slapped me right in my Third Eye - this reality was called a triple bypass. Me? Yes. Me.

Ego = a false belief about ourselves, a lie about who and what we really are…living that lie is a terrible anxiety. Ego fights hard for survival. The ego is our self love turned to self hatred.

Wow - did I ever have a change of heart (pardon the pun). Now I am learning to take the time to heal, to rest, to practice returning to love in my heart. It’s been there all along. I look forward to returning to Om to teach and share my love of yoga - but from here on, it will not be all about how hard can we push ourselves. It will be more about how far can we go inside of our own self to find more love - the love we were created with when we were born. The love inside that makes each and every one of us perfect. The perfect love. It is there.

I am now allowing myself to experience quality, meditative, spiritual and self-love time on my mat each day. This time has shown me to embrace my current limitations. Not to force anything. To flow more with what the universe has to offer me. To go deeper with my breath. To find stillness in my mind and my thoughts. To appreciate each moment – and to practice what I preach.

Life is merely the presence of love.

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Joy.

Tammy

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